A recent survey conducted by online dating site Oasis of Love asked 200 female users ages 18 to 57 a question: “There are hundreds of thousands of men out there looking, yet women claim they can’t find a man. Would you say online dating is working for you?” Oasis of Love listed the following responses:
1. "Many women use dating services as a chatting network. A lot of people are too scared to actually meet people off the Internet."
2. "Women can't find men because most men near my age are looking for a young 20-30 year old hard body barbie!"
3."Women claim they can't find a man among those many many men because women have standards that maybe those men don't fit into."
4. "There is a lot of pressure out there to 'Hook Up' right away, and that's not what I am looking for."
5. "I delete the smokers pretty quickly (how can he care about me if he doesn't care about himself enough to not pollute his body and others around him? )."
6. "I'm very hesitant meeting people off the Internet because of rape and murder"
7. "I know several people that have met and gotten married. So, it's possible. It's just one way to try to find someone. I haven't had any luck, but it's still better quality than I've found in the clubs."
8. "I have more trust in people in person than on the internet. I don't even know if I'm talking to who they say they are."
Oasis of Love has come to the conclusion that most women dating online are happy to chat, but highly skeptical when it comes to meeting in person. The dating site feels that women are afraid to meet in person.
When trying to analyze why women fear meeting in person, Oasis of Love seems to think it is due to the media’s heavy coverage of online relationships that end badly rather than coverage of successful relationship developed through online dating. Oasis of Love goes on to list some suggestions to men to help reduce the fear women have of meeting in person:
1. Stop with the lies and embellished personal worth. If you build an online relationship on deceit, eventually she'd find out the real you, and you'd be back to square one.
2. A picture is worth a thousand words. Have dozens of pictures of yourself taken in different places. Show your full body, not just headshots. Food for thought, if you're dating someone in real life, does she just get to see your head region or your whole body?
3. Cool your heels. Do not rush into wanting to meet. That scares women to death. It raises a red flag that you may be desperate, or worse, a predator. Instead, try to pursue true friendship first for a long while. She needs to gain your trust first and foremost.
4. When the discussion about meeting has begun, ask her to come with a friend if she so chooses. Suggest a meeting in daylight, and in a very public place. This gives her more confidence about her safety.
5. Beware of time-wasters. You are barking up the wrong tree if you're not diligent enough to separate the serious women from those merely online to chat and tease. The chatters are mostly time-wasters who use their time on a dating site as a pastime activity.
The dating site believes a woman's confidence in a man hinges on trust and that without trust dating online is a mere waste of time.