(Online Dating Industry Journal) Recently, the San Jose Mercury News advice column, Male Call, completely missed the boat on an online dating answer. A reader submitted a question asking why women never respond to his emails. The answer basically said that women were "inundated with emails" and that's why they don't respond. The columnist then recommended that the guy "quit whining".
You can read the Q&A here.
I feel for the guy - he asks a simple question and instead of getting an insightful and researched answer, he gets whatever comes off the top of the head of the columnist; something not well thought out.
So I respectfully submit an answer that would have been much more appropriate in answer to his question:
There are many reasons a woman may not respond to your email. Some of the top reasons are:
1) She is not a paying member of the service and therefore cannot respond. This is the most popular reason for a lack of response. Most online dating services fail to tell you which people are members and which aren't, therefore you never know who can respond to your emails and who can't.
2) She is no longer a member. Many people forget to completely delete their profiles and simply never log back on. Many services don't tell you when the last login time was, so you may not realize you emailed someone who last logged on two years ago.
3) Your email was not personal enough. You will get more responses when you take the time to read the person's profile and ask questions based on things you read. This let's them know that you read the profile and that you are a perceptive person.
4) You're too old or too young. Many men will email women that are much younger than them. Most of these emails get deleted quite quickly.
5) The ratio of men to women is too high. Many general online dating services have many more men than they do women.
One thing you can do to "change the tide" is join a service that generally has more women than men. Relationship services like eHarmony and Chemistry.com generally have more women than men and therefore may be more successful for you.
If you stay on a general online dating service, only email women who are "online now" (most services show this status) and make sure the email is personal, well thought-out, and not too long. Do not talk about yourself in the first email.
Best of success to you.
Cheers,
Joe Tracy, Publisher
Online Dating Magazine
http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com
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